


PS 3505 
.R94 07 
1905 
Copy 1 






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^ttt^ 



GROWE 




COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



0- 
RIG- 

IIM- 

A- 

TIONS. 









By 

■[Hi IS 
JEFF. 
CROWE., 

AD. Lt. M 



FR VTERX \l. PUB'G & SUPPLY Co. 
Publishers, 
1 1, t r. .it. Michigan, U. S V 



LIBRARY 01 CONGRFSS 
Twt Cnpi^< Received 

JUN 25 I906 
( £lass <X. xfcc. No 

J / o 6 9 ? o 

COPY B. 












Entered 

In tlu- office "f il) 

Librarian of Congress. 

At Washington, 1). C, 

1905, 

Piy Thorn; Jefferson i 

I i M. lit, Mich 



\ll i ighl - reserved 

bv th. \uili. ir. 



LIST OF OFFERINGS. 



Introductory 1 . 6 

The Flag of the Free 9 

When Mother Brings Her Paint Pails Out 10 

A Present-Minded Badger 11 

On Duty at Santiago 12, 13 

Odd Fellows' Safeguard 14 

Nothing Succeeds Like Success 15 

Uncle Bdl's Orterm'beel 16 

Illustration 17 

"The Kicker" IS, 19 

"No Doubt" 2u 

Our Flag ( I'er Every School House 2 1 

The Fellow Who Rocks the Boat 22 

Illustration 23 

Waiting for the Returns 24 

Vondunder's Observations 25 

The World That's Run by Chance 2d, 27, 2s 

About Dogs 29 

When Father Brings the 1 lose < hit 30 

Illustration 31 

"The Machine" 32 

"1 he 1 levil" 33 

The Mend in the Road 34,35 

Tell Us Ye Scientists :a; 

Don't Cheer, the Poor Devils are Dying 37 

St,ir> and Crosses 38 

Home-Made Theology :;:i 

An Optimist Refrain 40 

Don't Need to Worry Vbout That 41 

The Chairman's Dream 42, 4:s 

The Vilest Sinner .... 4". 

Only a Cog in a Wheel 44 

The Quarrel 4." 

Illustration 4i! 

Song of the City Lad 47 

The Point of View IS 

Look Yourself in the Face 4" 

Just Forget 7.0 

Words We Need Not Sa\ 51 

Illustration 52 

The Temple Builders ',.', 

When Your Feet Arc Slipping Away 54 

From Our Own Correspondent V, 

Illustration 5(S 

The Man Who Posted Pictures on Our Fence. 57 

The Man Behind tin- Gavel 58-511 

A Hard wear Hat .",!' 

Cranx G0-C1 

Good-Bve (ii 










JUST A BOOK 
OF 

MODEST RHYMES 
'TIS TRUE. 

LET US HOPE 

A BOOK 

OF 

REASONS TOO. 












A FOREWORD. 



Most of the verses here submitted have not previously appeared in print. 
A few have appeared in metropolitan and society journals and have been re- 
ceived with Mich favorable comment that the author has been induced to have 
the collection published in this more substantial form. 

Lovers of obscure suggestion and hidden meanings will here find little to 
please their fancy, as the writer has endeavored to present the thoughts free 
from unnecessary verbiage and to keep the drapery of rhyme and rhythm 
subordinate t" clearness of expression. 

If any offering leaves with the reader a cheerful remembrance, emphasizes 
any worthy thought, or points any desirable moral, the object of the author will 
have been happily accomplished 

hi all who have encouraged our humble efforts with words of commenda- 
tion, and to all who still further encourage us. these originations are gratefully 
dedicated. The Author 







A 





fc* 




THE FLAGXOF THE FREE. 



There is no other flag like tile flag of the free 

In splendor it blazes over hilltop and tree, 

Its colors celestial in true harViony blend, 

Its perfect proportions grace ami symmetry lend, 

It reminds us of freedom, unionVind glory, 

Statesmen, warriors, heroes — triumphant the story— 

Of firm justice in peace, of kind n\ercy in war; 

The whole world must respect an\ must honor each star. 

Mast high or mountain high — over knd, over sea— 

There's no flag like "Old Glory," theXflag of the free 



There is no other flag like the flag orVthe free. 
The oppressed of all lands to its broaV shelter flee, 
Its wonderful story our hearts make ecst\tic, 
Exalting, inspiring, superb, emblematic, 
"lis a refuge, an anchor, a lifeboat, a slii L ^ 
Just as ample its folds as expanded its fiel 
God of Nations keep it free from blot or Vtain, 
Keep us worthy of it, make our duties plaif^ 
O'er vastness of empire, o'er vastness of sea, 
Uphold it. protect it — our flag of the free. 



WHEN MOTHER BRINGS HER PAINT PAILS OUT. 



She di it 'iii china nor niako any kind of views 

nd or sea, and portraits she never yet did eh 
But she i work, the benches and the chairs — 

Tubs, ■ ich the rainbow hares. 

eard of schools of art, of exhibitions and the like. 
But for genuine excitement our home you ought to strike 
In the- Spring or October days, but mind what you're about 
( lr in trouble you'll get when Moth 



I'his must be painted azure-blue and that a gl 

I You dodge the painting all the day and think of il 

{ pun a chair you dan- not sit until with hand you've tried 

["o ee that the paint or varni h on it is surely dried, 

1-or varnish like a brother sticks, and clothes of white or black 

Are not improved by red or bl running cross the back. 

'I is not exactly funny but it puts the blues p, rout, 

1 or you must keep your wits when mother brings her paint-pails out 



I hese shelves must lie a pearly-white, and those a russet-brown, 
(lie careful where you hang your li.it and never lay it down). 
rhose doors where thoughtless hand- have been must surely have a 
patch— 
mother's troubl ' for the color- never match. 

She winds up in the kitchen yard with things exposed to weather. 
(1 think the paint she uses there is remnants mixed together), 
■ .11 inn-! smile and praise it all, ne'er criticize or pout, 
ire busy tunes when mother brings her paint-pails 



She d e n't ha thi w irk dear mother doi 

This making old things new again — she docs it all for us. 
.i hin il done would not to her the satisfaction give, 

rk for other- sin- will not care to live. 

b ith cold and white will lie upon Iter br> 
And mother, dearest mother, will have gone to well earned rest, 
And thinking thus we constant pray with fervency devout 
That mother dear may long Ik- spared and bring her paint-pail- i I 



in 



A PRESENT MINDED BADGER. 



He's a present-minded badger and he knows where he is at, 

He lias gone and joined the Orders he admires, 
He has many thousand brothers — sisters too — (just think of that) 

And good offices can have it he desires. 
He knows the power of Union — eacli for all and all for each. 

He know, tin- kindly grasp of frater's hand; 
He never fails the principles of brotherhood to teach, 

And for a brother's rights to nobly stand. 

Blue badge, black badge, badge of every hue; 

Come join the growing army (larger day by day); 
There's room for ev'ry worker (a place reserved for you i. 

Wear a badge lor your own dear sake and pay-your-waj 



He's a present-minded badger and be knows that he is right; 

IK' has figured out the profit and the cosl 
He's "in nun of brain and muscle trusting to inherent might. 

Who scorned to be fraternals and were lost. 
By tbi'. cosmopolitan army he's protected night and day 

'Gainst fortune's freaks (as tickle as the wind). 
'Gains! possible distress or want, and when he is called away 

They'll guard the dear ones he lias left behind 

Big badge, little badge, ev'ry size and style. 

Several million fraters drive despair away, 
Cutting down the almshouse, building up the home. 

Wear a badge for your dear ones' sake and pay-your-way 



He's a present-minded badger and has had to toe the mark 

Of discipline and observance of the laws; 
He has learned that plans and system are essential to good work 

And to uphold them is a worthy cause. 
This education politic — obedience to each rule — 

He ne'er forgets and loyalty maintains: 
He makes a better citizen (the lodge room is a school), 

He good government defends with hand and brains. 

Gold badge, silver badge, red and white and blue: 
Emblems that inspire (driving selfishness away). 

Ev'ry member doing the good we're pledged to do; 
Wear a badge for your Country's sake and pay-your-waj 



lie's a present minded badger and his head is full of signs — 

He knows a brother twenty yards away; 
He knows that business system with fraternity combines, 

And his share prompt and cheerful he doth pay. 
He knows it many dollars takes to relieve distress and death. 

That prompt relief oft saves from vice and sin : 
When demands are coming heaviest be newer growls a breath, 

Ills dollars help to let the sunshine in. 

Square badge, round badge, triangles, links and stars. 
Teaching wholesome lessons (truths that have come to stay). 

Broader far than creeds (leave no wounds or scars) ; 
Wear a badge for humanity's sake and pay-your-way 

Apologies to Rudyard Kipling. 



11 



ON DUTY AT SANTIAGO. 



The Min not yet had the Can ibean sea 

\nd the sweeping searchlights Hashed from the giant ships 
ni steel 
That sail beneath the bonnie flag that makes and keeps men 
tree. 
Si.!, inn the scene, and grand, on Cuban coast tl 
reveal, 
But grander yet the dari that early morning -aw 

Winn Sampson said, "lor seven fear!ess»volunteers 1 call. 
Who'll enti ! channel (from winch nunc may e'er 

withdraw i 
And -ink their ship beneath them and beyond yon I 
wall." 



Though many promptly offered to contest with death the 

name. 
To these eight intrepid Jackie-" is the glory and the tarn-. 



"Present for duty" Hobson, Montague, Kelly. 
Phillips, Murphy, Diegnan, Clausscn and Charet, 

They'll take her through unless they're crushed to jelly. 
Ne'er will they falter nor their trust forget. 



i in yonder towering cliff, gray, defiant Morro stands 

Each flanking headland bristling with guns that -weep the 
narrow course. 
In front, above, on cither side the enemy commands 

No battleship that entrance dares even attempt to force. 
Beyond those hills Spain'- steel-clad pride and hope securely 
rest. 
No game of bluff i- tin-, no play, no trick, no boyish lark. 
i heir chosen course a hundred deadly hidden mine- infest, 
Death shrieking through the air above, lurks in the watet 
dark. 

These peril- knowing only made their lip- more firmly set, 
No man e'er flinched, im quiver showed a semblano ol - 



"Present at call" — Hobson, Montague, Murph; 

Phillips, Kelly. Diegnan, Claussen and Charet, 
Eight gallant heroes of their country worthy, 

I lit ir n. line- and deed America will ne'er forget. 



12 



On Duty at Santiago. 



Straightway they undaunted steam toward the narrow course, 
N'c.r heed the storm of concentrated fire from monster guns. 

Shot following bursting shell in fast and furious force 
Blaze and crash! The very air an inferno soon becomes 

And yet the gallant crew rush on their perilous way 
Charmed must they be! Ne'er did Heaven more justly 
shields bestow. 
They swung and sunk their ship as she across the channel lay, 
And. dune their task, surrendered to the fierce and cruel 
foe. 



Through all the annals of the world of deeds with gun and 

sword 
Xo act this one approaching does history e'er record. 

"Absent cm duty" — Hobson, Montague. Murphy, 
Phillips. Diegnan, Kelly. Claussen and Charet. 

Eight Yankee lads, history-makers, nervy. 

Though a thousand dangers Jul their lives beset. 









NOTE. 

The attempt of Admiral Sampson to "bottle up" the Spanish squadron in Santiago har- 
bor included a plan to reach the open sea upon a raft but during the sinking of the slop 
the ropes became entangled, carrying the raft down with the ship. The crew took refuse 
under the raft, which stood at an angle projecting several feet above the water, and toey 
were thus by an accident protected from the fire of the forts. Had they succeeded in 
launching their raft they would probably a" have been destroyed. 

The attempt to blockade the channel, though not wholly successful, was sufficiently so 
to compel Cervera's fleet to pas., out in single tile m their effort to escape, thus making 
them easier prey. 

Plaudits for Lieut. Hobson have been beard on every hand but the men who shared the 
perils with him are never name.!. A little departure f*-om such unjust dtrorimfnatiOn is 
here submitted. 



13 



THE ODD FELLOWS' SAFEGUARD. 



1. — vo 

Impulsive youth! if to success thou wouldst attain. 
Mark well thy course to all they ardor seeks to gain, 
And ere in manhood's path you tread, with jpirits free. 

d well the lessons Iearn'd, for future use to thee. 
Ambition loud doth pall, stern conflict seems but fun. 
All things look bright and fa me seems eas'ly won 

It mill in coming years tin- worth of Friendship's pow'r, 
'Twill help you in the sunshine or in stormy hour. 
Whate'er thy station be, in palace or in cot, 
The warning heed, "Forget it not, forget it i 



II. — MANHOOD. 

Man in thy noble prime, 'mid earth's stern, ceaseless strife, 

The joys and sorrows, hopes and fears of life, 

Unev'n appears to thee the never ending fight, 

Foul vice and crime seem sure to triumph over right ; 

Fear not, but labor on and bravely strive and plan, 

Your duty do to God, and home and fellow man. 

Love linked with Truth will in the end put fraud to flight, 

Ev'n in this world it pays to always do the ri.^ht 

\\ hate'er thy station be, in palace or in cot, 

The warning heed, "Forget it not, — forget it not!" 



III. — OLD AGI 

And thou, gray sire, o'er whom old age comes swiftly on, 

Whose "trembling limbs" betoken sure thy setting sun, 

Whose life object battle is nearly won, or lost, 

Give us of thy wisdom ; — is the struggle worth the cost : 

What knowledge hath dear "experience" to thee brought? 

What "safeguard" found 'gainst "ills of life" thou long hast fought: 

Listen to the answer, both middle age and youth, 

"Practice in thy daily life Friendship, Love and Truth." 

Whate'er thy station be, in palace or in cot, 

This precept heed. "Forget it not, — forget it not!" 



NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE SUCCESS. 



From the heights of the ages 
The wise scholars and sages 

Have pointed out the way-- wc should follow 
Tho' many their quaint sayings, 
Their great preachings and prayings, 

Good to-day, yesterday and to-morrow, 
"Honors bring honors" and gain. 
"Money makes money" are plain 

But of all mottoes 1 freely confess 
There is nothing so truthful. 
Be it aged or youthful. 

As "There is nothing succeeds like success 



Till polished free from dirt and grime 
Ev'n gold or diamonds never shine. 

But burnished brass "attracts the passing eye," 
[■ r 'in carl> mi n'n till set c if sun 
"Fainl heart hath ne'er fair lady u i m " 

"Fools wait for the stream to cease flowing by," 
"Si nke while the nam is hot," we - i\ 
While the sun's shining "make your hay," 

Don't mope and hang out a sign of distress, 
If you wan for "boost" or "pull" 
Vimr cup of grief will be full, 

To succeed VOU must merit success, 



"Laugh and the" crowds will laugh, too, 
"Weep and you will weep" with few — 

The world soon tires of sorrow and moaning, 
So "never loosen your grip," 
But "keep a stiff upper lip," 

Singing is heard much further than groaning. 
The "crowd will follow the crowd," 
So "keep your bugle blown loud." 

"Merit wins," but only in its hest dress 
Tn the fierce "battle of life" 
Face "with courage the strife." 

You must to win make a show of success 



We are told that in I leaven 
"He that hath shall be given " 

We applaud the victor — the man who can boast — 
"There are no flies upon him." 
Full of "snap, vigor and vim," 

We abhor the vanquished and "h loo" the lost 

"God helps him most who helps himself." 
"Rack numbers stay upon the shelf," 

The world's ever ready the blessed to bless 
"Mills don't grind with water past." 
But "hustlers get there" at the last, 

For "There is nothing succeeds but success." 



15 



UNCLE BILLS ORTERM'BEEL 



"Yes, wife, I've done il this time, made the biggest kind o' ti 

Ye musn't do no kickin' fer it's most tor ye its's m | 

I've ti the old bay team, 'n wagon 'n some feed 

For sumthin' thai we old folks arc likely sure to need. 

Ye needn't look so skeered, !'vi been doin' nuthin' rash, 

i Asid<e 1 Cracky, I don'l dare to tell her I put in three hundred cash. 

I've yot ye an' Orterm'beel. Fraid o' em. Naw, not this. 

e goes 'lectric, some by steam, this with air an' springs. < m- whiz 
How she ran in the rare-., ["hey tell me thet in N'York 
They're usin' nuthin' else — adoin' all the hosses work. 
\i don't need no whip, nor hollerin' — jest turn a wheel instead, 
Jest steer her where ye' want to go an' watch the read ahead." 



Sir her standin' out t liar as -~ t i 1 1 as tho' she's takin' a nap, 
Don't hev to watchin' keep tu see if she's broke the hitchin' 
The chap what brought me hum in it says orter m'beels mean 
Machines that can run 'emselves an' that's jt-^t what ye've -ecu 
Out thar. When I was a boy the inventors far an' wide 
On the perpetyal-motion scheme their bij orts tried, 

I knew some daj they'd get it fine and fix it on a wheel 
An' now they've got the verj thing in that Arterm 
There ain't no galls or sprains to rub no colics in the night, 
No hitchin' up to do no runnin' away from fright. 
Naw. Taint "like a bike" — don't hev to balance nor tu tread, 
Jest Keep yer seat, an' tend the brakes, an' watch the road ahead." 

"Now get on yer shawl an' bunnel an' we'll visil Uncle Jim, 
I'll liet the sight o' us '11 scare the wits most out o' him." 

hi j climbed aboard and quickly sped along the country road. 
The chickens flew, the cattle ran, all "hands" at Jim's abodi 
Came oul to view "demon" and stayed to see her go, 
Bui on return the auto seemed! benl on running sl< 
Si on in a rut she wobbled and the wheels refused to budge, 

"Mel. lie she's tired." the lady said. Bill gruffly answered "1 
Someun's a fool. Such remarks they set my blood a bilin', 
It's plain as plain can be she's only needin' il in. 

She don't yet tired - runs like a clock - don't need no teed nor bed, 
You've only got to keep her iled and watch the road ahi 



"Wait till I read this ' Directii n Book" an' see what's to b( ei 

Cracky! It ses that tank thar must be filled up with gas'line. 

I thot that lamp was only meant to keep her inside- warm, 

\n 'felt so sure I b'lev I'd bet the valur of this farm. 
Thar's Squire Jones's ox team an' down this way they'll sartin' cum. 
We'll yet a hitch behind an' hev 'em pull us straightway hum. 
Xaw. 1 hain't been "badl) fooled." Think how much wuss it might 
hev been 

we'll gel our money's worth nyht out o' tin- machine, 
Might as well be smilin', no use cryin' not bein' vext, 
We'll \isit all our friends galon I ounty an' the next, 

We hain't gol many years tu stay an' 'II be a long tune dead. 
I'll buy hit} bar'] o' gas'line an' we'll watch them road, a 



in 





































THE CHICKENS FLEW— THE CATTLE RAN.' 


















"THE KICKER. 

note 
Is th i iat, 

a mule and its name is "Th 

I rue, 
But in ninny In 
He makes our 



He 1 id at wh 

di • 1 1 " t . 

pi ine't ; 
I le alw ays will :ker. 

bold 

■ ild, 
A s others do Look, 1 

ker." 



Some members do wish thai our Father 

iove 
Would take him up h 

In while a io ne'er will 

i run i\ ■■. 
[ n such i 

- and <l 
fall 
He'll lea us, and bitter 

name; call; 

ppall, 
e kicker, the k 



He elf be! form 

under Fal i irm, 

1 1 1 ^ ig but 

I ")(o'_ barm. 

Y< t be thinks that lie daily grows slicker. 
f^ r "-'JfcM-" v -, "improvements" 

_ " t»- -v.— — Bui always conten the way. 

< Mi. the kicker, the kicker, the kicker. 



l- 



The Kicker. 



In nature 'tis said, everything has its use 
And tins may our charity to him induce 
More pity to give him, instead of abuse, 

With his fret and his fume, ami Ins flicker, 
Maybe his mission is to keep us awake 
As a harsh reminder of duties at stake 
And truer and wiser our conduct to make — 

Oh, the kicker the lacker, the kicker. 



Let us, therefore, check condemnation, .and 

pause. 
Keep well to the rule, and obej all our laws 
And look from effect to a most frequent 
cause, 
As this course may reform him much 
quicker 
Than any harsh methods ourselves to annoy, 
Hi> class doth a row most sincerely enjoy, 
Quarrels amuse him like a child with a toy — 
i )h, the kicker, tile kicker, the kicker. 



When in liis glory he sings his old son-, 

Sustain him if right, but condemn him when 
wrong, 

Keep his class in the rear, just where they 
belong, 

Rebuffs ne'er will make their heads thicker. 
With this easy rule you are certain to win, 
If you have not begun, 'tis time to begin, 
It you wish to have peace, not turmoil and 
din, 

With the ki:ker, the kicker, the kicker. 

Now don't misunderstand or think that I 
mean 

'I liuM true members who in all lodges are 
seen. 

\\ ho lor law and lor order always have been, 

May we ever have plenty such kickers. 
May they always stand firm, defending the 
right. 

For justice, and honor, and truth may they 
fight 

With such the great ( )rdcrs will grow in their 
might. 
Give us kickers, such kickers, such kickers. 

I mean those wdio kick for the fun that they 

find, 
Forgiting the promises made when they 

joined, 
For harmony's sake to be ever inclined. 

His highest aim seems to be a flaw picker. 
Let us therefore unite in compact so fast, 
Determined complete this vile habit to blast, 
'Till the kicker-chronic's a thing of the past— 

( )h, the kicker, the kicker, the kicki i 



19 



•NO DOUBT." 



All have met him. He's a rival of the man that knows it all 

His manner loud makes timid people wince; 
He says he's willing to be told, but his ire doth always fall 

On any who attempt to him convince. 
He heard of a society organizing in our town, 

And his eyes scintillated with glee, 
To the Secretary his application he promptly put down 

And laid with it the usual fee 



He said he knew "how things ought to be done an' what members ought 
to do," 

And "to even fill an office might decide." 
The Secretary smiling, said, "We're needing workers such as you, 

Our members less experienced to guide. 
We need you on our committees and our entertainment work, 

Our audits and our sick to visit, too. 
I shall note you are a worker and not disposed to shirk, 

We'll lay out work at once for you to do." 



"Oh, no," the quick reply, "Such work I leave for those more spry than me 

And younger. Tint is not my line." 
The Secretary smiling said: "Ah then, your specialty, 1 see. 

Is field work — new members-- that is tine" 
The applicant shook his head. "Oh, no, 1 have no time to spare 

For gettin' members X", indeed." 
"Then what on earth," the Secretary said, "do you deem your share 
Of labor in the work such Orders need?" 




The answer came: "Oh. 1 can criticize 
an' keep 'em runnin' right, 
They call me 'an objector' down our 
way; 
An' if things don't suit my notions I 
ran put up quite a fight, 
An' when I join a lodge I stick an' 
stay. 
Those who alius want to run things 
don't like my ways an' greet- 
ing — 
A good objector's sure to weed 'em 
out, 
After a while they get tired an' stay 
away from all the meetin's "_ 
The Secretary groaned and said, "No 

I liTKl" 



OUR FLAG O'ER EVERY SCHOOL-HOUSE. 



Raise our flag o'er ev'ry sclioolhouse; let it float upon the breeze; 

Sing aloud the "Spangled Banner" as it rises o'er the trees 

Tell the children all in story, on the land and on the sea — 

'I hat it-, prt names are "Old Glory" and "The Banner of the Free;" 

That its red should e'er remind us of the blood by heroes shed 

Who for it fought on land and sea and knew not fear where duty led. 

'I hat its white our faith should strengthen that our cause is right ami just, 

And no monarch e'er shall rule its but the God in whom we trust. 

That its blue fm- truth eternal, like the azure sky above, 

E'er should, keep us true and loyal, and our Nation's honor love. 

Its stars dispel oppression's night, and must prove to all who see 

Thai the people can be trusted with the boon of liberty. 

Its stripes mean justice, one to fall on all assailing foes. 

It waves proudly, bold, defying all who dare its power oppose 









Raise our flag o'er ev'ry sclioolhouse, 'mid Northern pine and Southern 

bloom, 
'Mid prairies broad and "Rockies" grand, the sclioolhouse brings the 

outlaw'- doom 
Keep the flag and school united o'er wondrous west with wealth untold. 
Let tropic sun o'er isles of ocean garnish it with gleams oi gold. 

Peach 'neath schoolhousi flag the truths that make us ureal and keep us 
free — 

Ihat the door of power is opened wide by education's low, 
That the blond red torch of anarchy must to the earth be hurled. 
While the white torch of true liberty enlightens all the world. 
And. gleaming bright o'er kind and sea. tin- flag of our great nation 
'Twixt freemen everywhere shall be a bond, an exhortation 
Teach that worth alone is royal, teach that honor makes men great, 

And the humblest child maj grow to be a pillar of the State 

'Bove all keep our banner of beauty, to it let homage be done, 

i he.r for our schools and our heroes, cheer for our "many in one'' 






Raise .air flag o'er ev'rv school house, let it llo.it upon the breeze, 
Tell the children ne'er to tyrants need the) ever bend the knees, 

hell them of the martyr'd host who gave their lues to prove it- worth. 
'I he only flag that despots fear freedom's hope through all the earth, 
1, oppresses neither sect nor race, schemes and plots u doth defy, 

In freedom's storm-tossed struggling ship 'n- a rainbow in the sky. 
Raise it high, 'mid spire and steeple, let it glisten in the sun; 
It has no spot of shame to hide in all its victories won 
Tell the children that it symbols a great Slate for ev'ry star. 
Tell them it- inspiring record in peace as well as cruel war. 
Tell them it is theirs to cherish, that its stars must never set. 
And in future they'll defend it, if need be with the bayonet 
Keep the flag on ev'ry sclioolhouse, with your ballot- it defend. 
Learning and freedom firmly join, then our Union ne'er shall end. 



•J I 



THE FELLOW WHO ROCKS THE BOAT. 



Of the ii tin battle i if life 

Who, shock and alarm us and involve us in strife 
I hci e maj fi ir mosl oi them be - imc little exi 
But i im ni anci worth; ol naught b 

ilings \\ nli sadness « e m ite ; 
In reckless abandon he much trouble will make, 
that lives are at stake, 
reams "t' his victims and appeals are in vain. 
With bravado he treats all advice with disdain — 
The fellow who rocks the 1 



I n -i as i hi the vvati i 

The Rocker's fool methocfe we find hard to with 
lie spreads terror into clubs, lodges and chin 
IK'. endi mirches, 

i o\ i-r his work may g] 
Rockers differ from wreckers who mean to do harm. 
Rockers tail t.> see danger or cause for alarm. 
Win never in life we mil si trust our fellow man 
lie exhibits himself that's the evident plan, 
i n the fi ii '1 » ho rock- the 1' 



'i- .Int. i from kickers who may honestly aim 
To alter some plan ami their opinions proclaim, 
Rockers' methods are brutal- -thej cavil and sneer, 
distrust ami bring danger alarmingly i 

Wnh faith n might be rem 
Little matters to him it' the sailing lie fair. 
i I] torm clouds fill our minds with deep dread and despair, 
And in dire ruin threaten our fortunes to . 
He rock^ agitates, desecrates, up to the last, 

The fiend who rocks the boat. 



■ i - i , ; : i ■ i 

You in.i. with kicker^ who kicking find joy. 

may mercy receive e.v'n from wreckers 
lie ming belie. 

The t >e -t .ill g 1 that's a:! 

I lis boasting disguises the scorn of the mocker. 
'Neath the m. - k ol the clowi thi gi n ol ker; 

Let not his self-assurance dissuade out alarm, 

p 
Freak) ferine u ho n icks the I 



22 




"HE EXHIBITS HIMSELF— THAT'S THE EVIDENT PLAN." 

































•j:t 












WAITING FOR THE RETURNS. 



Yes, wife, I know you're worryin' 'cause it-- thund 

But I'll tell you all about n if you'll only patient wait. 

1 lied an ovcrp.iui.rin' desire to know if we would win, 

So I've been down to the telegraph to hear the returns come in, 

You orter seen the people how they jostled an' they sh 

\s each report convinced 'em thai the others had bei 

'Bove .ill tlu- fun a wave of solid patriotism floated 

Which made me feel so proud that I hed surely gone an' . 



First came news thai i p :d an' didn'l even raise a 
It gave some "scatterin' " figures an' said "everythin's in doubt." 
When 1 heard this 1 got discouraged at such onsartin news. 
All my courage fizzled an' my heart went plump into my 
For I'd figured how a host of us would rise up in our might 
An' would beal them cranky foes of ours completely out of sight. 
I wondered if it could possible be that we wen- in the wro 
\n' oui opponents be th n ue « i 



Then I determined come what might to our principles I'd cling. 

Even if most discouragin' news the lightenin' would bring; 

Foi I felt that this great people ne'er would demagogues believe, 

Nor would ever lei the lure-, o' crafty schemers them deceive. 

Soon came anothet telegram a strangely muddled story, 

Bui told o' "gains" upon the side o' honor an' o' glory. 

"We're gainin' on 'em." I forgot myself an' shouted, out aloud. 

An' the cry was quickly taken up an' carried thro' the crowd. 



\.gain I fell thai we were righl that was my firm conclusion — 
An' the others everlastin' wrong an' sure would meet confusion; 

Thai he who holds the fate o' nations in the hollow o' his hand 
Would again inspire the peopli to another glorious stand 

i the lightenin' message brought with it new exaltation. 
It sed we'd certain "gain'd the day both in the State an' Nation." 

At this the crowd brol e I : again, they fairly howl'd with joy; 

Vs for myself, I believe I capered as tho' 1 was a hoy 



l-oi an hour or more encouragin' reports did hustlin' come 

Till 1 lin'lly tore myself away an' made a break for hum; 

An' all the way to this 'ere door I heard that crowd a cheerin' — 

If telegrafin' don't let up they'll stay till day I'm fearin'. 

N'o\\ we can go to rest knowin' that there'll ri~e to-morrow's sun 

O'ei the "Battle o' the ballots" fought for righl an' nobly won. 

While we sleep there'll flash to all the world the story o' our g] 

O'ei many thousand miles o' land an' deep beneath the sea. 

Not in vain hcv' we been marchin'. no! in vain our banners waved; 

The great people hcv been heard from an' the Nation has been 




L'l 



VONDUNDER'S OBSERVATIONS. 



Dere's lots of tings so funny like ven 1 around me looks, 
Some tings, my poy, vol deachers don't egsplain in all your books 
Dese great "reforms" you dalks about und say ve sure must vin 
Are 'cause dose on iler outside vould reform dose vol vas in, 
Und veu you gets dot big reform und puts dose rascals oud 
De beeple find dey don't not know vot it vas all aboud, 
Den ven you on der inside got you soon vas de "whole ting," 
Und dose outside dey boint und say — "Dot machine vas sure a Ki 



A rich man does fool tings dey say "egcentric" he vas sure, 

IJut dey call it "crazy gone" ven dey know dot man vas poor. 

If a man's "gone up" ven he's "broke down" vich vas de vorst or most? 

A horse vas "fast" ven he runs quick, or ven tied tight to a post 

A man takes "nion" (somvon else's p'raps) und puys linn "shtocks" dat 

rise 
De beeple shmile und say it i.h "investment" sound unci vise; 
But ven dose shtocks drop oud of sight und he vishcs b evas dead, 
i lose beeple say t vas "gambling" und dey solem shook der bead 



A man's "infirm" ven be shaky vas und shtaggers all around 

A post's in linn only ven it vas solid in der ground; 

De business man's union ve call a "trust" for our subjection, 

lie vorkmgman' trust ve call a "union" for our protection. 
How can a man get "tight" ven In- vas of habits loose? 
If your girl vas "lectlc duck" how vas her sister von lag goose? 
A man shteals bread or shoes, 't vas "larceny" — to chad you see. 
ile shteals tousand tollars i vas "financeering" — be gov, free 



De "nuisance" It vas de ting vat de 

Oder feller does. 
But ven you does it den it vas de ting 

to cpnck egscuse, 
You make de noise, you block de shtreet, 

you try to slim. ike us black, 
But tink it vas an "outrage" ven you 

gel dot nuisance back. 
If you valks out de shtreet upon und 

go mit closed your eye 
You tink de horsemen should "look oud" 

Itnd dodge you safely py, 
But if you got dot auto-craze und fly 

der shtreets aboud 
I ><■ beeple all most shcatter or you'll 

knock der daylights oud 

It vos "sense" ven de oders tinks de 

same tings as does you. 
But 'tvas "nonsense" ven dey tinks some 

different tings to do; 
You call dem "vise" und "libral" ven on 

your side dey all be. 
But "crank" und "bigot" ven mid you 

dey dare to disagree 
Some day I'll take my ben nut ink und 

sits me quiet down 
My chin I puts upon my hand und on my 

face a frown, 
Und I writes a dictionary pook mit 

vords so hlainly seen. 
Ve den vill know, ven beeples shpeak, 

shust vot dose shpeaknis mean 




THE WORLD THAT'S RUN BY CHANCE. 



As I laid me down to rr-t on a sofl orious Summer day 

\nd -nulled the birds and the trees and flowers as I idled the hour away, 
1 thought of the power that governs them all from thi 

IT, 

, seed time, rest, tl •'.< again— like : 

like tin- world wide over. 
In the shrubbj ] a i left that I never had seen bi 

With impulse trong I pri ed back the shrubs and a cavern 

expli 
A- 1 progressed the darkness denser than the blai 

night, 
Then without a glimmer of warning, flashed an intense, fiercelj blistering 

light; 
When my eyes to the glare had accustomed becomi 1 beheld fai 

things 
Than all the hobgoblin I childhood days to my vividest memory 

brings, 
Wierd, distorted vegetation, gnarled and sen e trees with - 

spread in the air 
;raceful growths, no fragrant star like blooms, no symmetry — uglii 
y where . 
I looked in vain for the round topped trees, thi I and that 

delight the eye, 
i foi .: fl< i cloud or a bit of blue in the dull brown sky. 



"We creatures here." he said, "were mortal once in the world so fair 
you have left behind. 

We scoffed al the tl a creative powei of a God with omnipotent 

mind. 

\\Y learnedly talked of atoms, of ever changing matter, of nature's subtile 
laws. 

Forgetting th?l these force , i all, must have some harmonizing 

cause ; 

For our pervert • - ive have lure been sent and from iln- judgment that 
ordered so 

Can not appeal." "How long," 1 asked, "have you denizened been in this 
plao • ■! 

"I cannot tell." he said "Perhaps a thousand years. My guess then 
refuting, 

For in this syst^mless, hapless world there can be no means of time com- 
puting; 

! we have clocks of crudest make they would lighten the v. f 

i iur \\ eat j life, 

Even gravitation is unstable and the elements at constant strife; 

We can have no machines -tram cannot be u-<-<\ -it explodes or lies dor- 
mant by turn-. 

And the water a- thm sometimes as vapor is sometimes so thick that it 
burns, 
en in vain to improve out lot hut nol a step can we advance 

l'ii rule, no law. no guide, no starting point in the World that's 

run by Chance " 

-V. 



The World That's Run by Chance. 



Groups of strange creatures soon appeared— though hideous each bore 

some mark of human birth 
And semblance of human grace. Some huddled in the trees, some gro\ 

eling "ii the earth, 
For mid these mam grotesque horrors- unbridled nature's mad conglom 

e rat mil — 
I saw no house, no shelter remotely fit tor meanest human habitation; 
Soi f the creatures had arms where legs should he. some hail eyes on 

top of the head, 
S, me had monstrous, misshaped mouths, others so small 'twas a mysterj 

how they were ted ; 
( oarse, colorless clothes were careless thrown round their shapeless form? 

a pitei his sight : 
["heir skins were black and yellow and blue, repulsively mottled and rarely 

white. 
Now approaches one more man-hke appearing than the others He speak? 

His manner learned, his language clear. 
He says: "I greet you, stranger from the outer world To bring your 

earthly body lure 
Von have fortunate been. We. coming in the sp,nt only, were compelled 

to take 
Such forms as chance might give, foul or grotesque, and hear Us burdens 

whether sleep or wake. 
The hormrs m view I sec you do not comprehend," he said, with harrowing 

glance ; 
This is the one hope- forsaken spot of the Universe— the World that 

run by Chance." 



As we wandered along ugly, grotesque forms on every side were seen. 
I he coarse masses of grass were black and red and white hut rareU .1 

glimpse of green. 
Potatoes were sour, turnips m apple-trees growing, and apples beneath 

the ground ; 
Corn had cobs outside-like ashes within, tempting melons dry as cotton we 

found ; 
Here were chickens with heads of fishes, woolly swine, uncanny sheep 

and cattle 
Of distorted forms as if shattered and torn by the shot and shell of battle; 
Scraggy fruit of fetid odor— strangely marked were every shape excepting 

round ; 
XearK featherless birds, decrepid, dingy, more resembling reptile-, sang 

1 inly a mournful sound. 
"But how do you know what to eat?" I said He replied "Each must tin. I 

as best he may 
For what is desirable food tomorrow may vilest poison he today. 
When we get sick we must get well again, though we have doctors learned 

111 all the schools. 
No science of medicine ever could practiced he in a world that has no 

rules 
WE CANNOT DIE." lie uttered these startling words in tones of 

acutest sorrow 
"There is here no death! We must patient wait for what chance may 

bring tomorow." 

!7 



The World That's Run by Chance. 



"Elei i we plenty liavi "but it will 1 1< >t observi 

rules, 
ely it shocks and cripples and burns all who attempt to control it 

w ith ti ids." 

Then the air grew black— darkness that could be felt that bl 

i m — 

\ii'I I cried aloud, My guide in tones assui "There is 

' nan " 

That'- the way our sun does its -him for minutes 

time- man) daj 5. 
Vmi -ee why our tin be measured hut must ever remain in a maze 

\ day may lie minute- or months. Even the ground causes us trouble and 

H i .0 — 

The lake which you saw "n your right was a hill top only a few 1 

Then came a crash terrific— a -hock appallii worlds had ru 

I her. 

1 ) an electric storm," he said, "a happening of our capricious weatl 
["was a- if wind .-iml lire ami water fur mastery vicious fought from far 
and wide. 

Bold stood mj guide, hut a lightning flash in dem >n f him shiek- 

ing from my side. 

Then above the groaning of the storm 1 heard a \ lice, awe-commanding 

and deep : — 

"Be ii"i deceived God i nol n i ked Whatsoevei man sows that shall 
he also reap " 



Fiercer raged the storm, raindrops scalding hot followed by hail anil snow 
in fury dashed ; 

Gravitati in seemed suspended — things movabli aii I .-ether 

ii shed. 

the ground upheaved and I felt myself thrown into a seeming bot- 

ti unless gap. 
\- I fell — 1 awoke and opened my eye- 1 had surely been taking a nap. 
In my hand I clutched a daisy fair ami a- I looked upon it- smiling face 
New beauty 1 saw in its commonplace form, perfect symmetry, harmony, 

grace; 

And I -aw I never before had known countless lessons of < >rder are 

fi Mind 

In the myriad things, freel; given to man. that everywhere abound. 

My eye- glanced up at a giant oak a hundred nun could stand 'neatl 

ample -h.nl,' . 

And 1 saw though it from an grew, it could grow only where i: 

was l.inl 

The trees and the vines, the beautiful birds, the smallest insect, the greatest 
man. 

Each bound by immutable, beneficent law; -in- grand, han - 

\ml I thankeil my i mil that I lived in a World of infinite rule- and a power 

Supreme : 
That my sojourn brief in the World of Chance was only a horrible dream. 






ABOUT DOGS. 






When I hear a dog at shadows a-barkin' an' a-bayin', 
i lr see a puppy with a rag or other trifle playin', 
A-tttmblin' like a baby an' silly jumpin' like a frog, 
Then T see there's lots o' childish human nature in a dog. 

When I se a dog jealous 'cause another dog is petted. 
An' kno' his mind with envy and hostility is fretted, 
I hen I think o 1 our own weaknesses — it gives my pride a jog, 
For I -ee so much reflected human nature in a dog. 

When I see a dog a-growlin' at everythin' in sight, 
A-snappin' an' a-snarlin' as tho' no one else had a right 
To live. I think 'twould lie proper if someone him should flog 
For there's too much o' cranky human nature in that dog. 

When I see a lazy dog a-loafin". round the livelong day 

An' a-rousin' seldom 'cept when to his meals he's called away, 

Like a man who lets tobacco or drugs his system clog. 

It's plain — there'-- l"ts o' shiftless human nature in that dog. 

When I see a dog a-seizin' all the plate o' meat an' hone. 
Grabbin' all the weaker fellows' share an' gobblin' o' his nun, 
It reminds me o' the stingyness o' some two-legged hog 
An' I see — there's lots o' selfish human nature in the dog. 

When I see a dog a-foll'rin' round a worthless kind <>' chap, 
A-rubbin' up agin his feet an' a sittin' in his lap. — 
A fellow whose main accomplishment is drinkin' bits o' grog. 
Then 1 see — there's lots o' (woman) human nature in the dog. 

When I see a dug stand by his master with unwav'rin' faith, 
Fightin' fur him. an' his property defendin' to the death. 
Then I think o' human heroes that have set the world agog 
An' I see — there's lots o' hero human nature in the dog 

\\ hen 1 s cc a mongrel dog whose pedigree is hopeless lost. 

Hut useful an' true as thoroughbreds who .if "bltte-bl i' 

might boast. 

An I know it isn't blood alone makes gentleman or "prog," 

hi n 1 -ee there's somethin' kin to human nature m the dug 

P'raps that is why we love him so an' for bis faults excuse 
him. 

Why some a close companion make an' others will abuse bun, 
A problem he. as strange as man — it to solve our brains befog, 
One thing we know— there's ad kinds o' human nature in the 



dog. 










a-) 



WHEN FATHER BRINGS THE HOSE OUT. 



When father brings the hose out and remarks, "The grass is dry," 
Tis th( b :ttei pai i of valoi foi • ind flj . 

For there's nothing makes us hustle in lliis, our humble home. 
Like father and that dreadful hose, its sputter and its i 



When father brings the hose out, then we begin to scatter, 

in dread ama i to learn just what's the matter. 
They wonder if our li ime's on fire o i >me horrid slaughter, 

Bui we tell them 'tis n<>t fire, jusl onlj hydrant water. 



When father brings the hose out, we barricade eacl 
And close up all the win low 01 ome rum we'll deplore, 
For when he stop, to wipe his brow, it comes, alas, 
He gets the watei everywhere except upon the grass. 



When father brings the hose out, then your rubber garments get, 
For the place you think the safest that place he'll surely wel 
If behind a wall you seek to protect your summer suit, 
That hose will surely find you out and 'round the c irner -hoot. 



When father brings the hosi nd an auto chuggeth 

damper i >n their i i a :e f r running I 
And when thej loudly protest you'll hear father calmly say, 
"Don't scool so fast that we can't see you when you rush out 



When father brings the hose out, then pedestrians receive 
A shower bath so plenteous you scarcely would believe. 
The knowing ones with care avoid the walk past our abode, 
And take the other side or else the middle of the road. 



When father brings the hose out, as the cyclists speedeth by, 
And father thoughtless turns around they get it in the eye. 
As up the road in terror they do swiftly disappear, 
They make remarks so horrid we stop Up every ear. 



When father brings the hos,- out, then neither you nor me 
U ill be safe within the cellar nor yet up in a tree 
We must speed like folks demented until w« safely find 
Deal father and the hose-pipe are a hundred yards behind. 



OR 






















* T — ^— — 







CSnrr/rif 









"F( iR WHEN HE STOPS T< ) WIPE HIS BR( >W IT O »MES, A!. AS. ALAS.' 



















•THE MACHINE. 



I'll not go to tnat lodge any more. 

Through the whole of t h<- incoming term; 
Yes, I've s.-ml much the same thing before 
But this time I'm determined and firm. 



1 In lodge ain't what it mijfht to have been, 
Things ain't running quite proper and ri^li t . 

Foi the crowd that 1 call "the machine" 
Captured every office last nighf. 

They elected a man to the chair 

Who's a crank on "the law" and "the rule" 
(Like a schoolmaster acts, I declare, 
And the lodge like a dutiful school). 

The second man. he copies the first; 

He don't know quite so much about law, 
(I admit take his faults at the worst 

Mi work is done with hardly a flaw). 

The Secretary's quiet and -low. 

'I hey say he'- an expert keeping hooks, 
And lie writes a fine hand, that I know. 

((■in-- they elected him lor In- gi od 

loi ik- i. 



Their Treasurer's honest; his hooks are right. 
And our money we always can n.i I 

i I'.nt he'- no u-i- for debate in a tight — 
Rarely cm r is heard in a speech). 

And it' i • w ith all the offices 

Every one ha- some glaring fault. 
Spiti '■ all m> constant prophecies 

ivould make no change, nor call a 
halt. 



I Mi. yes; they're all good fellows and true. 

Brotherly, honest and lull of fun; 
But none of 'em know the whole li-l through. 

How -ii had ought to he run. 

I hold these machine-, these slati and rings 
\n mighty wrong and should he ovei 
thrown. 

Si i -' ime i if us i iise such things 

Put up an i iffii ei 5' list ol our own. 



our ticket e>it a lug heating. 
Nearly all of their people were there: 

e ours stayed away from the me< 
Looks to nie that they didn't much care 



So I'll stay away and let 'em get mixed 

(I want no office, that'- plain to he seen); 
But next election we'll have a -late fixed 
And knock out that unholy machine. 



"THE DEVIL." 



Yes, we believe in the devil, my friend. 

We surely, certainly do, 
Where misery, squalor and crime conteni 

I he devil abides there ti u i. 



He is dressed in colors of white and rod. 

Yellow, purple and brow n, 
He inspires to deeds of horror and dread. 

lie smothers the conscience down 



The gamblers' secret den, the outcasts' shun. 

The robbers' obscure retreat, 
All keep tins devil to nerve the arm 

And stead} the wavering feet 



He pi miise* help f< >r every ill. 

I le mask-, in the guise "I friend, 
But woe to the man with a weakened will- 
Bitter drees must drink in the end 



\".> place so sacred — no home so secure- 
That lie dares not enter there, 
Conquer young a id old— the rich and the 

I I is pit falls are ev'rywhere 



This devil of wine is cunning and shrewd. 
Of health ami pleasure he sings, 

When his victims' hopes are rosiesl lined 
Then disaster cruel brings. 



He offers support for the weak and lame— 

A staff that's reputed strong, 
But 'twill surely break and disease and maim 

If trusted too far or long. 



lie ne'er points to the end oi the journey long 

Asks only * me step at a time. 
(hilv mie step in the directum wrong — 

Step nearer the dirt and grime. 



We laugh at the antics his victims make. 

We laugh at the mind obscure. 
Tii protest we fail tin. ugh we know hearts break 

As cowards we calm endure 



I lien we pious pray and calmly think 
Of the words we might have -aid. 
While our brother's feet go over the brink 
' I is to,, late when he's lust or d 



.:.; 



THE BEND IN THE ROAD 



bend in the road it al >^< ir1.~ them all 

• mis an endless pai 
Young and old, rich 

Disappear from view wl fade. 

id in the n 
\nd fi illi i« ing cli iselj I - behind 

Othei ei « nil quickening ; 

The fori 

Some arc forced to tramp in the noon-day glare, 

< )i- through rain and mire drag their wear] 
i ithi i lei ure take and enjoy the air 

Where laden with odor of blossoms - 
Some are free from burdens of grief or rare. 

Somi and stumble beneath their load, 

But whether a tramp or a millionaire, 

\ll di: appi ai 'n >und the bend in the n >ad 



S. ime ride in ci laches or on pi eed, 

With noise and clatter the) proudly dash, 

S e i in glil ti ring Uitos swiftlj speed, 

Come and ar<- gone like a meteor flash; 
Some with careless gait arc plodding al< 
I [esitate, falter and for others wait, 
mg like .1 rollicking song, 
Ne'i 1 think 1 if ruber timi 

faces an- drawn from worry and can 

1 3 arc peaceful, set ■ mild, 

show want, some evil, in every -1 
\nd in contrasl strong conic, a prattling 
How many have earned the things they possi 

How man 1 ed « here 1 ithers ha 1 

Yet while we judge them perhaps wro 

All 1 'round the bend in the road. 



cred while i aud, 

em pleasure bent -< ime 1 m duty sad, 
Some crowding others, tho' the way is broad, 
I lere they come together — the k I and bad; 

Sen. follow content path- others have n 

Some scorning the ruts, make paths of their own. 
Some s.ck the sunshine some enjoj the shade. 

Some seel, companion- some travel alone; 
in helping others arc always tree, 

Some determined seem to crush others down. 
S hout and chatter with boisterous 

Some never smile, but have always a frown. 
Their virtues' Their failings? We ne'er may ki 

Some calm-appearing breasts arc grief's abode, 
Alike and unlike they conic and they 

All 1 round the bend in the road. 






Bend in the Road. 



Reflected we see in this bustle and strife 

This well-trampled road and dim-distant bend, 
The up-hill and down of the roadway of lift' — 

The rough spots and smooth, its ruts and its end. 
How motley the crowd that constant nunc-. <>n 

The hanker, the beggar, the wise and the fool, 
"lis hoped they've learned ere forever they're gone 

That "keep to the right" is the wisest rule. 
Let who follow hasten good deeds to do. 

And say the kind words we intended to say, 
l-'.re the ones to hear them have passed from view 

Round the bend in the road have faded away; 
Let us cast fair flowers by the road — not weeds, 

Let no cankerous evil our minds corrode. 
Let the truth be our Guide — inspire our deeds — 

For all must pass 'round the bend in the road. 










TELL US YE SCIENTISTS. 



tell us, ye scientists great and wise 
m we ask to adi 
Ye who have measured the sun and the 
Jupiter's moons and the mar!< [ars, 

Have made your charts of the heavens so high 
And know the comet's trail across the -kv. 
Ye ha , ered the earth with I steel, 

Taught the captive lightning your power to f< 
Ye speed o\ er the globe from - 
Talk under the sea — annihilate time, 
Our metals into thin liquids ye p: * 

n inti i e\ a h scent gas, 
And as wizards modern convert them then 
Hack to their forms original again 



■ . tell us, >r scientists great and wis< — 
Perhaps your science can our faith surj 
Ye can analyze, crystallize and combine 
The products of field, of forest and n 
Classify drugs to cure every ill 
And brand things noxious that poison and kill. 

ttle learning makes ye pompous grow, 
i e seem t > forgi t how little ye know 
And much less how little ye undei 
The simples! things in the air or the land. 
Why does plant life constantly turn to the light} 
"Affinity." Yes, ye surely are right 
"Light draws them" Ml, y iat is also true. 
But why and how I i II us the secret. 



Praj tell us, ye scientists great and wise- 
tan ye not some better answer de i 
The more that ye learn the more ye must see 
What ignorant creatures all poor mortals be. 
We are asking knowledge- ye iur faith rebuke, 
Ye wis, i i i nave perhaps "beliefs" forsook. 
What is the power within the gentle shrub, 
\ii'l tell us how ii knows, (.Pray do not suulA- 

lliat light will stimulate to growth and bloom — 

I hat onl) weakness comes from out the gloom ? 

Til answer ye, we, like the groping vine, 

Will with "blind faith" reach for the light benign 

Will with "blind faith" reach for the light benign, 

\ml feeling sure that we are growing right. 
Our face, keep toward the glimmering light 



36 



DON'T CHEER, THE POOR DEVILS ARE DYING.' 

'Tis o'er. The storm of shattering shot and shell 
Which on Spain'', famous boasted navy fell, 
That sought with vicious rush ami sudden dash 
The Yankee watchers to surprise and crash 
That Sunday morn the Spaniards did invoke 
[Tie -_r ■ > < I of war to tighten Cuba's yoke. 
That by sonic fate sore rum and defeat 
Should fall upon the hated Yankee licet. 

With blood each ship bedeck 
And make that historic Sunday morning 

To all who risking wreck. 

Would dare attempt to check- 
Spam's cruel course, a fearful warning. 

The long and patient looked for time had come. 
The sneer to meet — that we would soon succumb, 
That untried slups and tars of Yankee rare 
Skilled Imperial crews could never face. 
But Yankee gunners in their Sunday clothe-. 
Poured shot and shell into their foreign foe. 
And with appalling suddenness did sweep 
Each oppi sing ship into a helpless heap. 

Spain pompous — world defying — 
Hath lost. Swift storm of retribution o'er, 

I Icr si m- are maimed or dying, 

Her hope is crushed and lying 
(hi long suffering Cuba's ransomed shore 

The dreaded monsters from beyond the -ea 
That came to set hack human liberty 
And carry out the oft repeated boast, 
Destroy our cities on Atlantic coast. 
To them — Spain's trust — is dread destruction brought. 
Idle naval battle of tin: ace is fought 
And freedom won, Is't strange that Texas' tars 
Should wish to cheer their bright triumphant star-"' 
Swinging arms in happy mood, 
( if joy 1 iv give one i heer they could. 
They start each voice to raise in loud acclaim 

Their great, brave Commander -t 1 

Appealing. Be all honor to his name 

'Twas Captain Philip, with uplifted hand. 
Ills voice in pity, not austere command: 
One of those men God raised up for the lime. 
Hero, fighter, blackened with battle grime, 
The platform where he bravelj did direct 
I he fighters had, by Spanish shot been wrecked. 
lie saw — the mind of the hero discerning — 
That the foes helpless were drowning and burning. 

Though to ruin they're led, 
Their truce-flag in suppliance living, 
"I lon't cheer, men." Philip -aid. 
"Let us praise Cod instead," 
"Don't cheer — those poor devils are dying." 

i olumbia, thy heroes are worthy thy pride, 
I hy faith in their valor may ever abide, 
I )n land and on sea. again and again. 
rhey've shown that tierce fighters can he gentle men. 
I. ions in courage when duty's at stake. 
Gentle as doves for humanity's sake, 
Alert as the eagle to strike at thy foes. 
Like tigers they'll light while any oppose. 

I hit when victory appears 

\nd our liag is triumphantly flying, 

I \ en your hi ild cannoneers 

Willingly stifle their cheers 

When the foe they find helpless or dying. 

37 



STARS AND CROSSES. 



ther wave, O standards of the Free, 
1 ho' comirn n I 11 -nap and snarl al 

Wave "ii the hope of ages yet to be — 
Wa\ I ierty. 



found where'er thy bearers led, 
Religious freedom where thy soldiers tread, 
Refulgent light where darkness reigned instead 
The light ol Liberty. 



lom in fact, not merely empty name, 
lawless discord, anarchy and shame, 
The subs the fitful flash and flame — 

Rational Liberty. 



VVhal matter- tho' barbarians build their walls, 
Thy hen . .md ev'ry barrier falls, 

No envious malediction e'er appal s — 
They strike for Liberty. 



The only hope our enemies possess 
I'bai through some frenzied folly or c- 
We may forget and bringing -ore distress 
Imperil Libei 



Delusive hopi Should leaders e'er prove knaves, 

Free no more are suppli'nt sla 
But "stars" and "crosses" each to brother waves 
F i both and Liberty. 



a" the echoes ring, 
The same grand anthem roll- "Cod save our King,' 
"Red, White and Blue." we all together sing — 
Sing loud for Liberty. 



Forever wave— illumine I i 

;el her all i m m mies defy. 
For this we strive for this our martyrs die — 
Progress with Liberty. 



forward, down the steeps of time 
iter meeting destiny sublime. 
Together colors, music, hearts anil rhyme 
And all for Liberty. 



Written for the British American Society. 

- 



HOME-MADE THEOLOGY. 



I hev' ,i filosi ify i if my own 

Mebbe it's neither wise nor strange, 
But my faith it has always keot in tone 

An' 1 ain't a-goin' to change. 
I've seen men a-prosperin' all around 

Whose lives were vile the whole year lone, 
An' I've seen good men by misfortun' ground, 

Everythin' they touched went wrong; 
I've studied the thing from all points of view. 

Kept Scriptur' thoughts fast m my mind. 
An' am firmly convinced that me an'' you 

Good reasons '11 sometime find; 
I've read that "the transgressor's way is hard." 

An' that "your sin '11 find you out;" 
I 'i give a full-weight pound, an honest yard. 

Pays best m the end I've no doubt. 
1 feel sure there'll be a reckonin' day- 
It may be far, it may be soon — 
God doesn't balance up His books 1 say 

By changes we see in the moon 



I convinced myself a score o' yeai 

That there's reason fur day an' night, 
I bat there's reason for all our trouble an' woe, 

I hat all will be sometime right 
I've seen men be brutal an' never kind. 

Press other men back to the wall, — 
God's mills to us may seem to slowly grind. 

But they do grind exceeding small.' 
I here's plenty o' men whose life objects seem 

To pull down, hut never a boost — 
I heir chickens wax fat in some selfish scheme 

But 'II surely come home to roost. 
Selfishness and greed, enmity, false pride 

Are weeds our growing -mils to try 
To make us till the deeper— straighter guide, 

For harvest's golden by-'n-by, 
Things d m't alius happen the way we pray, 

'I he reason we'll learn late or soon — 
God doesn't balance up his books. I say, 

By changes we see in the moon. 



I've studied well an' come to this conclusion — 

That final justice e'er prevails. 
That useless suffering or confusion 
Our world's Creator ne'er entails; 
l'\ e studied tin- animals an' the bird - 
Along the plants, an' fruits, an' flowers. 
In astronomic books the law that glials 

I his beautiful world of ours 
lo the Universe. I've looked for some blunder 
Bul found it not — only mystery deep — 

tions vast that inspire our wonder. 
That never disobey, nor sleep 
["ho' centuries come and go. Stands to reason 

'I hat unjust rule, for man would mar 
Creation's plan, inviting treason. 

While ev'ry mysterious star 
Teaches order. The eternal year, or day, 

lias neither December nor June — 
i, nd doesn't balance up bis hooks. I 
f'.\ changes we see in the moon 






30 



AN OPTIMIST REFRAIN. 



■ ill world is growing wiser growing wiser day by day, 
lb. rank wildei less of erroi ruth is giving way. 

Then Ige — fertile fields of golden grain. 

Where the weeds and brambles flourished,— now they strive to root in vain; 

lelusions the sullen past, 

W driven before the sunlight and into the sea arc c; 

i listen you can hear the sturdy Woodm 
Neither stump nor -tone can long withstand brave pioneer attacks; 
You can -ci- the cli . you can hear the chorus rise — 

Tis the pean of patient p iding to the -lies — 

"Make a way. break away -all worthy -hall he frei 
Make a way. break away . foi Liberty." 



This old world ing bi tti i daj by day. 

You can onflict, ev'rj skirmish, ev'ry fray; 

You can read il in the galling barbarisms of the past, 
In the cruel, clammy customs of foul vassalage and caste; 
In ancient moldy mysteries the mind of man deceiving 
Now suppliant servants of our will — our common want- relieving; 
In histori p dripping red with human sac: 

heii i- born a dear-born prize — 
i giant u i- growing— it will battle ev'ry wrong, 
"Equal Rights" throughout the world will sing this grand triumphant song. 
"Make a way. hreak awaj all worthy shall he fri 
Make a way, break awaj : i ■ foi Liberty." 



old world i- growing freei growing Freei day by day; 
Lei ii- catch the insp k and sing and cheer and pray; 

The bigot shackles from mi n to II are b ining, 

There are heights attained our forefathers never dreamt of win: 
You can see it in thi oud as it swiftly scurries free. 

Purifying, agitating, till it rests within the sea; 
You can see n in the lighti i handwriting on the sky- 

Proclaiming full enlightened freedom and justice by and by; 
Faith can s tl . j( m the sunshine that on king and beggar fall. 
And in the crashing thunder-tone- can hear this rallying call: — 
"Make a way, hreak away— all worthy shall he free; 
Make a way, break away— make way :Tr Liberty." 




in 



DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. 



1 he philosophers toll us of many changes immense 
That they feel certain will happen in remote ages hence. 
The earth is growing colder they feel sure every day. 
And by the year 20,000 will be frigid they say. 

But we don't need to worry about that. 

The sun will burn entirely out in some ten tl.'illion years. 
But we will not be here to see it. so silence your fears. 
If the earth stops revolving it will fall into the sun. 
But we need 11, it let that interfere with our present lun. 
So we don't need to worry about that. 

By some ten thousand years more the population will grow 
So there will not be standing room on this planet you know, 
The people will croud on it then as thick as they can wedge 
\ 1 1 . i maybe some poor fellows must hang over its edge; 
But we don't need to worry about that. 

And in less than ten thousand years they say there is no doubt 
Our supply of coal and firewood will most surely give nut. 
The earth's changing its shape and some remote day we are told 

The nee. in will cover the earth with its waters so cold. 
But we don't need to worry about that. 

Any year a big comet may happen to come our way 
And knock our earth into dust, some wise scientists say. 
Our future is safe in the hands of our Father above. 
It's the present is with us, shall we recreant prove? 
We all ought to worry about that. 

A monstrous demon I see holds the whole earth in his grasp. 
Kingdoms and empires all are crushed in his powerful clasp; 
He feasts on home, happiness, honor, all drawn to his snare, 
And gives in return disease, poverty, death and despair. 
We all ought to worry about that. 

Our own land ah me. ten hundred million dollars at least 
Each year pays, to sustain the hosts of this great wicked beast, 
I need not stop to tell you when 1 mention this vast sum 
That the demon who takes it is the vile demon of rum. 
We all ought to worry about that. 

His great army of soldiers is two hundred thousand strong, 
Who struggle for more power for this cruel giant, wrong. 
Each year he feasts upon a 'hundred thousand human lives. 
Spares neither rank nor sex — fathers, mothers, children, husbands, wives, 
We all ought to worry about that. 

His slaves we all are. more or less, for struggle as we will 
We must help to bear the burden, it costs to feed the still. 
Where is your manhood, men. that you should let this demon roam 
To burden honest labor and to desecrate the home? 
We all ought to worry about that. 

1 ho' his hosts are defiant, let your banner wave 011 high. 

As God is our great leader we must conquer bye and bye; 

So when your work on earth is done and you reach the golden gate. 

If the Angel asks your record, this you can tell him straight: 

"Well, when T was on earth 1 attended Dr. Soandso's church, and tried to live a Chris- 
tian life, but as I regarded intemperance the great giant evil of the world, I devoted so 
much of my time to rescuing my fellow-men from the grasp of the demon, and to endeavor 
ing to cripple the power of that dreadful scourge, that I didn't really have time t<. study 
ALL the creeds of Christendom, and, of course, I may he wrong in my belief." 

I think the bright Angel will smile, and most surely will say, 
As he opens wide the portal and shows to you the way: 
"You don't need to worry about that." 



41 



THE CHAIRMAN'S DREAM. 






L'hough short was the meeting, it had 

wearisome lenj 
The Chairman in va icerted his 

strength, 
In endi avoi ti 

md 
Which hung o'er the members 

i >ur glorioi 

I >ur i ibjects and pla id de- 

I In- orders wore read and to eacli for- 
mal call, 

Followed the ring 
sharp fall; 

And "G 1 of the Order" was shortly 

(How oft it's an order that's sadly 

misnamed i 

back with 

despair. 
The Secretary promptly to leavi 

pi i pare. 

( ;oldwatei hts to hi • 

side did roam. 
And he drearily said, "Guess-we'd-bet- 
g'-home." 






ii rose and vacated his 

chair; 
["he members alarmed at each 
did stare, 
(link he inii ndi d to make thi 
ech ; 
But hi- said, "I'm not going ta 

nor to preach. 
A strange dream I had when I slum- 

ist night, 
f"o help me translate it. you all I in- 
vite. 
\ wagon I saw. built on lines to con- 

To a fort, a shield, a safe refuge from 

storm. 
And upon its broad sides and over each 

Were mottoes fraternal and figure- ga- 
lore." 




"Twixt the thills 1 was strapped, with 
collar and 

your promised help I chose 
to submit: 
ogi the] n i pulled it united and 
mg — 
And for a brief while we moved swift 
ly along. 

1 grew a burden 
wheels cl irth; 

In dismay I eli to un- 

rth; 



42 



The Chairman's Dream. 

At las; in exhaustion I fell to the 
ground, 

Imagine my feelings when looking 
around; 

In anguisli I saw as I lay on the track. 

Some who should push hardest wen' 
pulling straight back; 

And some seated calmly in comfort in- 
side. 

Were through others' labor enjoying 
the ride." 

"Then I heard a voice say, 'The reason 

is clear. 
Win we move 50 slowly, 'twixt doubt- 
ing and fear; 
lis a head we are lacking — his power 

grows le 
We need a leader who can pull to 

cess.' 
In dismay I awoke and made up my 

mind 
I'd tell you my dream in the hope we 

would find 
The solution (I trust 'twill not difficult 

seem) 
1 »i this very puzzling remarkable 

dream 
If through it we may profit. I freely 

confess. 
Its horrible moments 1 gladly shall 



Moral — If you want things to move, help do 
tin.- pulling; or, if you won't help, don't kick. 



THE VILEST SINNER. 

"1 must, dear mamma, ask of you, 
What naughty thing did Marj do. 
That people charge her all the while 
With being 1 me 50 very vile ?" 

"My child, I've neither heard nor 
I If her. nor know what you can mean, 
I n tell you I can not begin — 
Where did you bear of Mary'- n 

"At church, mamma, this verse they tell 
< if her. and seem to know her well — 
' For while the lamp In ilds out to barn 
I he vilest ■.inner Mary Turn 

43 



ONLY A COG IN A WHEEL. 



i if machines there arc millions 
filled with wheels in di i 

part, 
each i ither, 
■ ng its brother, 
All by some common force stop and start; 
Laboring some mid dirt and grime, 
( (thers merely mi 

ev'ry motion is ri 
must hold firmly its grip 
' r would bring disa lip, 

riiough each only one cog in a wheel. 

A complex, w machine, 

Ever changing real i ene, 

I mankind with its numberless sections; 
\\ hei 

\\ h( els "I pli p imp and pain. 

Rolling ever in many direction . 
I tiding bj nighl day, — 

Grinding each other away — 

Human cogs that can see and can feel; 
Si ime in Erei from jar, 

Oilier-' noise is heard . 

But each 

S<. all our efforts, our . 

Be great or humble our claims, 

I lave limits despite our endeavor; 
To 51 >mi center we are bound, 
Carried around and an mud, 

Tho' able, or wealthy, or clever; 
Ev'n id" perfect demeani n 
And your work may be cleaner 

Than your fellows' and exalted you feel; 

I he greal machine will mc , 

Soon forget that you are gone, 

I or each is only one cog in a wheel. 

What useless folly to boast — 

We are ] i « i aklings at mi i I 

( ii oui talent s, i n powei . or « ealth ; 
( Ir to think ii ery friend 
Should in obiesance bend 

iur whims in mir sickness or health. 
lake a despot you ma\ storm, 
Enragi pcrfi n m, 

: the fact vim can never conceal; 
You're a small part in a plan, 
Depending on fellovi man. 

Foi yi m're i ■ 1 1 1 > i me o ig in a w heel. 

< Inly a single 1 1 ig, I say, 

But duties many, day by day, 

Duties to God and toward mankind; 
faci d and bra\ elj di me, 
Battles fought and nobly won, 

\\ ith ne'er a flinch from the daily K'ind. 
The tune will come when at command 
I J. h . hi el w Hi sti ip bj Master's hand. 

That you i true may your work reveal; 

tr part may heart and voice, 
Exultant, ci mfident 1 1 

As a faithful cog in a worthy wl 



tl 



THE QUARREL. 

Yes. it's true. Bill an' me have quarrelled, I feel ashamed to say. 

As for many years we've been the closest friends by night an' day. 

'Twas about a little dicker — I felt sure thai I was right. 

An' when my word was doubted gol so mad 1 had t<i light. 

We wouldn't have fought at all no matter which o' us was wrong, 

Bui a friend o' his an' a friend o' mine helped the muss along; 

So I struck 'nit both right an' [eft -they weren't no gentle blows, — 

But his arms longer are than mine an' he nearly broke my nose 

I don't kno' how 'twould have ended if the Squire lie hadn't come, 

He called us "a pair o' id'yots" an' started us off for hum. 

This mornin' Rill came over— You say you "guess he was awful mad" — 
Well he wasn't Ills voice was cheerful an' Ins bones: face had 
That old time smile. It instant drove my wrath away I tell you 
What the good book says 'bout "soft answer turnin' " is wholly true. 
He 'pologized, tho' 'twas plain as day that I was in the wrong 
But 1 held the Maine should fall on me right where it dues belong, 
An' he hoped (incidental like) that there', 1 never, never he 
Any misunderstandin' or trouble 'twixt him an' me. 
An' he act'lly made me promise I'd go over then' to-night 
I o play checkers as we used to do before they made us tight 

You're "glad the trouble's; over." Well, it isn't. T wish it wus. 

It's the only the beginnin' o' the nastiest kind of fuss, 

For soon as I got home, with keen remembrance o' our light. 

The meanest, bitterest kind o' letter 1 wrote to Bill last night 

T told him things that people say — I see now 'twas small to do — 

Worst o' nil, 1 accused him o' things he knows T know ain't true. 

To emphasize my foolish feelin's some words I underlined. 

I didn't look at it agin for fear I'd change my mind. 

But fired it into the letter-box up there this early morn. 

An' he'll get it this cvenin' jest as sure as you are born 

You say I "didn't mail that letter." Why, what on earth d'ye mean? 
I hain't been dreamm' nor crazy, tho' f will admit I've been 
A little "off" to daj You say "It's up stairs on the dresser." 
I must see it quick. You don't need to be much of a guessei 
To kno' how happy I am. "Mailed one o' yours instead," you say. 
That's the letter. An' into the lire it goes right straight awaj 
I've learned a lesson that'll do me a heap o' good, 1 think- 
Not to be too hasty, at least not put hasty words in ink. 
Our only tight will be with checkers — I say I'm mighty glad 
i Iverlookin' that letter 's the closest call I ever had. 




I bid that old-time smile ' 



•i:, 

























7KT 

ill $ClNUM 



^ A- sis. i 




'Ami children bar tin- things they 









y 



SONG OF THE CITY LAD. 



The poets write of babbling brooks, 
1 M grassy knolls and shady nooks 

'1 hat briny the mind rep< isi : 
Of flitting birds and fragrant flowers, 
1 M nature's heart and quiel bow ers, 

Where man forgets Ins woes; 
I hey tell of health, of healing breeze. 
( If lender shrubs and grand old trees 

That beautify the scene ; 
But give to me the city street, 
Where bustling thousands constant meet 

\nd keep your "woodland green." 

The singers sing ,,f ocean foam, 

< M" storm-cloud free, of sea gull's home, 

Of gale that follows fast; 
1 'i gallant craft and sturdy crew. 

< )f azure sky and waters blue. 

And dangers quickly passed ; 
But I will sing of City streets, 
The many things one constant meets, 

I love their rush and roar; 
["heir crowds, their "chugging' 'auto-cars, 
Tho' singers sing of "pasture liars" 
\nd verdant things galore 

The artists tell of mountain climb. 
The tow'ring cliffs they paint sublime, 

\\ ttli joy explain the view ; 
'I hey paint the tropic palms and skies, 
1 he Imgs and In is ,ind butterflies 

In myriad form and hue ; 
I'm I can sec more beauty here, 
Where massive walls their columns rear 

And in the \\ indow s grand, 
Where men and women criticize 
And children "bar" the things they prize 

With youthful la\ ish hand 

Xi iw listen while that organ plays 
Selections from the latest era e 

And hear the leu sboys' cry ; 
'Way up the street the ( ierman band 
Plays marches from the "faderland." 

\nd rumbling trucks roll b) , 
I he drivers shout, the 'bus doors bang, 
I be trollej . ars with vicious clang 

Add to the jolly din; 
A funeral, an ambulance. 
Are given hut a hasty glance— 
\ guess at who's within 

The writers all may dream and think, 
In their delight by river's brink. 

W ith nature may commune; 
But I confess I'd not inspire 
I h' quiet would my spirit tire. 

Despair oppress too sunn ; 
I'd pine for glimpse of city marts. 
The gliding "bikes," and butcher carts. 

Tin' blue-coats tall and stout, 
So give to me the City street, 
I in hurried tramp of many feel 
And peddler's lusty shout. 



THE POINT OF VIEW. 



(in a kitchen door two houseflies met one sultry Summer 
And familiar seemed the burdi things the) had to say. 

Said one, ' ["his is a hapless world there's reallj no denying. 

's dangei in walking or in fl) 

One must eat to 1 i \ <.- and whil< he strives existence t" maintain, 
Finds enemies are everywhere- li drives me most insa 
The -un rays scorch, the night wind- chill, the dust our air tub 
And i iching brol ghts to down the other; 

'Twixt hunger, thir-t and trouble a wretched fate to be a fly, 
And to thtnk that alter all this strife we must lie down down and die." 



^. 



h : "I've patient listened to your long til 
And it puzzles me to know just why such fi de. 

You're one of those strange creature call d nist," 1 take it. 

>l know thai life with ns is largely what we make it. 
Now feel that whiff of fragrant air laden with sugar and p 
And yonder if you're over warm is some cream prepared with ii 
That I 1 "'. 

When tired of life that hone} is a glorious place to die. 
Joj am nd ii- No complaint from decent flies. 

Of all mean things a chronic growler I do the most d 




"Ah me," n othei ly, Your long lecture I've endured. 

You'n ' with glut! i less case I feel assured. 

, mind me of th i mr animal books call men. 

Who each other constantly abuse with vicious tongue and pen; 

talk of aristocrats and oppression isses. 

While some berate the anarchists and "discontented classes." 
The;, this fact to know ('1 ame, my friend, with 

That lepend upon the point from which we view. 

From youi ph j seems correct, I h; 

For j iside of the screen bul I am on the out." 



is 



LOOK YOURSELF IN THE FACE. 



It may please to be flattered and favored, 

To be noted, handsome and brave; 
It may please to succeed where you've labored, 

In language be brilliant and suave, 
It is pleasant to be wittj and wise, 

To have confident manners and grace, 
But ne'er can talents your failings disguise 

When you look yourself in the face. 

'Tis well to pose as a model for youth, 

Ideals in have broad and grand, 
'Tis well to be known as loving the truth. 

To be known for liberal hand; 
'Tis well to In' strong, ev'n boast of one's strength, 

But can't beat yourself in the race; 
l r \'n one living knows best bis own length 

And knows what he sees in bis face. 



'Tis good to friendly and sociable be. 

To have a great army of friends : 
But friends may fail and if needed may tier 

When fortune or trifle offends, 
Mid all disappointment, worry and care, 

(ine thing you can dodge— 'tis disgrace; 
With manhood unsullied the world you can dare 

And look yourself square in the face. 



'Tis bad if amid the duties of life 

When you see yourself in the glass, 
You find deceit, dissipation or strife 

Revealed in the lines as you pas — 
J lus wrinkle a fault and that one a sin — 

No smirking can ever displace, 
rubers mav guess, but you know what's within 

When you look- yourself in the faci 



Whate'er else be your rules or predictions. 

This axiom safe you will bud — 
When true to your soul's bravest convictions, 

You'll surely be true to mankind; 
'Tis a comfort in life — a solace in death. 

Whatever the time or the place. 
To know that with conscience you've always kept faith- 

( .in look yourself square in the face. 



49 



JUST FORGET. 



I've had !i 
But forgel 
If nursed ii will do 
Do 1 



tie- 
Dreams I 
Ahead of the b 

Sim 



■ in the The.man in'thViead has the I 
v n « h tor the day, ,,, ,, R . race 

Nor any days in the week when grieving If you don't drive your work it may 

ilm 
' ea « bl ' V, i ■ . debt 



1 iel discouraged do j 
Just 1 ' 

iright bl 
irage gel 
\\ ■ might grow over boastful 

w icked you kn i\v . 
If all things went oui waj 
certain i 
\\ e forget. 



Dailj tasks lo not hirl 

Busj get. 
\\ orrj kills us n ii ... >rk— 
Don't foi 

• 
still i~ decay. 
Laboi . so work 

■. 'i maj 
"Blui ■ 



in walk through the 
People smiling you mi 

■^ ■ 

The thousands ■;. i "shut in' who 

never can roam 
From the narrow confines of an im- 
lesome honn 
Pains b 



1 iur health not the best 
Nerves up 

Nol i i worry's l i 
( 'heerful gel . 

I here'l] be b >oks. I 
and task 

\iiit we are from view and from mem- 
Ills f irgi 



I f enemy assails 

Just foregt, 
Hill- can't be without vale 

\\\ < : 
Hatred shows you're in sight— malice 

ih - you're alive 
Men ne'er env) the dead n ir u itll Hil- 
lings strh e 
riien i • ■ 



\re your duties a task — 

Jusl forget. 
Pays tn discontenl mask 

From all n 

.in and an 

ng 

'< is '"'-' : ' i ill ' i whistle and 

sing 

And foi 



I las som< friend givei 

Jusl foi 
I lave you trusted in vain 

Wisdom get. 
1 1- the fate of us all i i exist j US | t . , 

learn 
Expei 

■ n — 



n d e i a nn o j 
Ii foi 
the most .it" your ji ■■ 

Il.l[l|l> yet. 

ill'ow darkness 
■' m'l alwaj - lie fair nor all 




It nursed it will d 



50 



WORDS WE NEED NOT SAY. 



It isn't the things we need to do that cause us endless pain. 

It i- pandering pride and envy and greedy grasp for gain 

It is not the smoothly beaten path of daily duties done, 

That has pitfalls deep and briers that tear and rocks that bruise and stun: 

Tis not the shut-, from open foe that with danger must beset, 

But missiles thrown by careless hands that can ne'er be seen nor met; 

So mid the daily struggle kind thoughts arc driven away 

And we hasty fling the foolish words we never need to say. 



'Tis a thankless task advice to give to those who need it most, 
'Tis an art to give it free from critic's cut or cruel boast, 
But given should be with grace received and grasp of proffered hand - 
Between friends a thoughtless thrust or stupid sneer should never stand. 
Sharp words 'tis best to cut in two — casting mil the stin^ or bite — 
"It takes t\vi> to make a quarrel" — perhaps neither wholly right; 
111 chosen words though not ill meant oft bring ruin and dismay, 
For the words that deepest cut arc those we never need to say. 



Yes, we all yet tned and fretful when things don't go quite right, 
I'm it doesn't help to snap and snarl like dogs that dare not bite ; 
Men will always fight lor mastery with word- if not with guns. 
Each will seek to speak the word the adversary soonest stuns. 
But in the hallowed circle — home, 'mid friends or social call. 
Stinging -Inrs and cruel cuts from human lips should never fall; 
There arc hearts that ache and needles- break and souls that drift astra . 
For the words that hurt the most arc words we never need to - 



We don't need ourselves humiliate nor fail our rights di i id. 

lint boisterous words arc worthless — ever break hut never mend; 

'Mmi; abhorrent things stand mockery — meanest of word-made tools. 

And insinuating irony — the logic used by fool — 

Ami sarcasm — often meant for wit 'gainst these thy conscience gird, 

Nor exhibit weakness by the craze to have the final word; 

( hi these rocks sweet peace and hope are lost — are needless cast av 

For the words that rack' and wreck arc those we never need to saw 



We don't need to be always smiling, or happy, nor ev'tl kind; 

Don't need to ever encourage, or soothe any troubled mind; 

Don't need to sine any roses, tho' none like a thistle or burr; 

Don't need to give any sweetmeats, if bitter drops you prefer; 

Life is torn by useless contention -some of us learn too late, 

[iach year it- burden of sorrow brings don't needless add to the weight, 

Engrave this text upon your heart and read it day by day — 

The words thai deepest cut are those we never need to say. 



51 







Cofyrtgbt, /pOj. *r 7"<*f' Cowpanj 



Courtetj cf Leslie i tt'eeklj 



STEADY ! 



THE TEMPLE BUILDERS. 



clear away the weeds that cumber — clear away tlie rubbish lieap. 

Plow it square and plow it broad -dig it true and dig it deep; 

High and massive walls their ponderous weight secure hum lay 

On this unyielding base prepared of rock and pile and clay 

Now we see the building forces gathering in their might. 

Men and engines, men and horses — working day or night, 

Solid bastions placing of cement and iron and stone, 

Squared and plumbed and leveled till a foundation true i- -In wn 

"Hen ;i pillar — there a brace, 

Now steady yonder beam in place. 

This stone with g 1 cement encase 

We are .1 temple building." 

X^w bring the massive corner-stone turn from the mountain's heart. 
Now from the giant forge bring clamping steel to bind each part; 
See it, like a thing of life, steady rising 'bove the earth. 
Now we see it- beauty — now we behold its promised worth; 
Replete with life indeed it i — the thought is not in vain- 
Each block baptized with energy of human brawn and brain, 
It rises to the music of the chisel and the maul, 
And the trowel ceaseless working cements together all. 

"That coping bread now set secure 
1 hat angle-iron will strength ensure, 
( )itf work must for an age endure — 
This temple we arc building 

Now as the structure rises it reveals designer's plan — 
Columns erect guard portals broad which graceful arches span; 
Now see the faithful workmen — each with skill performs his art — 
In the busy hive each worker seems an independent part; 
While we the energy admire — the lain a- perfect dune; 
We o'erlook the system that unite all it- part- in one — 
Each man a given -hare to do — each block a place to till — 
Guided by master-minds and they by masters higher -till 

"Carefully true up yonder ledge, 
Intel this arch that keystone wedge 
All to tune of riveter's sledge 
A temple noble building " 

Now the giant crane and pulley cease their hemic wori 
Have creaked and groaned 'neath daily load- but ne'er to fail nor shirk 
\nd from base to dome the masters proclaim it strong and true; 
Then carving, cornice and bracket ornate are brought to view. 
The artist brings his dextrous touch -his gold-leaf and bis dyes. 
And the temple strong 1- a temple fair to mortal eyes; 
Now flash the light— illumine bright each shaded spot, and then 
We see a tit abode for women fair and noblest men 

"Garnished and glazed and glorified, 
Each 'gainst the others' skill has vied. 
Each to his part can point with pride — 
A temple glorious-builded " 

53 



WHEN YOUR FEET ARE SLIPPING AWAY. 



An ol.l Man- Plaint. 

After climbing life's hill <1< >n't expect too much 

When tin rough, downward path yon descend, 
That the world will have any kindlier to 

When you'n nearing your long journey's end; 
Don't think tin.- repose you have striven to win 

Musi be yours at tin- closi our day, 

n't expect overmuch from kith or from kin. 

When your feet you find slipping away. 

This whirling old world i- crowding thi 

I In- swift lightning i- crowding tin- ex- 
it jeer- the patriarchs, -inn- at the sages, 

Gray hair- it irreverent mocks; 
\- your pace slackens it will leave you behind 

So keep moving— don't get in tin- way, 
Narrowing, narrow r youi place you will nd, 

A- your feet you feel slipping aw 

With eyi | lim y< m must see Iiki 1 1 

Stumbling is ne\ er i* irgi\ i n 
With hearing impaired you must hear like the 

The slow must ruthless be driven; 
The race has no time to list to your groaninj 

To hear you preach, point precept 01 pray, 
Keep ill- to yourself and stifle your moaning, 

When '"in feel you find slipping away. 

Youi back tho' bent with burdens and battles 

Should never complain of it- load-. 
tongue must be dumb— dumb a- the cattle's, 

Dumbh obeying the fate that goads; 
Don't rage at the fashions, thi frolic, the folly, — 

The thoughtless must have their own way. 
As they sow they shall reap — 'twill not '• ■ so jolly, 

When their feet they find slipping away. 

Youth and vigor think it take- courage to die — 

You know it lake- courage to live, 
To face daily the trials around you that lie 

The service expected to gi\ e ; 
Tho' your body is tired your ambition is hold 

\nd you struggle to conquer dismay, 
In desperation on life just tighten your hold 

Tho' your feet you feel slipping awaj 









If fortune ha- smiled and you've laid snugly by 

\ surplus, 'twill vanish like dew, 
When you find through ill health 'ti- useless to try 

lo defend it where friend- are -o few; 
When young you may act like a capering colt. 

Erratic in work or in plaj . 
But with any tailing- you're a "doting old dolt." 

I f your feet at e -lipping away. 

We know you are feeble, and frail and failing. 

That your old heart it- pulses -low give. 
But make peace with yoitr aches forget all \onr ailing, 

Make the best of the tact that you live. 
You would -mile but never see aught that'- amusing, 

\nd io laugh have! forgotti n l hi way, 
But say "All i- well." your faith never abusing, 
["hough your feet you feel slipping awaj 

Don't sa\ I'm complaining no. never a word— 
We old "querulous crank-" should he calm. 
I preach precious patience my pencil i- -purred — 
ii ni life i- ., dignified psalm, 
ease you are dreaming and perfect content 
You ma) mid you are sadlj astrav. 
Consolation comes only it days In- well spent, 
our leet have goni slipping away. 

54 



FROM OUR OWN CORRESPONDENT 



AT DEER CREEK. 



Editor Limetown Bugle 

I've lots of news for you this week 
for things are surely moving the Under- 
takers all complain their business aint 
improving reports of sickness in our 
midst was just a cruel Imax (Doctor 
Lancer's been away some weeks a visit- 
ing his folks ) 

John Higgins started on the bank nf 
creek an ice house to build he met with 
such an accident he fatally was killed 
a tree he felled fell on bis bead ('twas 
sixty inches round) being killed he fell 
into the creek where be was quicklj 
drowned the funeral was large for the 
people all turned out bis deeds were 
known by residents all living hereabout 
the preacher for our example said our 
neighbor sure bad gone to that land 
where winter's storms and snow ami 
cold are never known. 

Doctor Peelum has remarked success 
a treating of the sick be performed a 
operation successful on Mrs Dick bis 
methods are unique Ins fame some would 
like to borrow (Mrs Dick's funeral ser- 
vice will take place tomorrow ) 

Rev. J. Henry Smythe has received a 
flattering call from an unfortunate 
church in the town of Bloomingfall with 
salary much larger and may break the 
ties that bind be says to make the sac- 
rifice he's not made up bis mind lint is 
praying for guidance and the light that 
praying brings (but Mrs. Smytbe has 
the curtains down and is packing up 
their things 

The proudest man in our town is Mr. 
Sylvester Foggs he is proud as can be- 
over one of his premium hogs lie's .1 ini 
fellow and weighs nearly 400 pound 
(lie's a great breeder and has taken 
prizes all around 1 

Some hoys were caught last week with 
a big jug of corn juice got it ihe\ said 
front Deacon Rich'- cellar he's madder 
than the deuce. 

Samuel 1 laniels is a "forger" and tie 
work lie does is very line call on him it 
you want anything in the forging line be 
keeps his spirit- up by never pouring 
down a drop (be does his forging and 
all such work at his blacksmith shop) 

Scat and Gray an addition are build- 
ing to their hotel to enlarge their saloon 
(it will be run in like a L) this will to 
ire refreshments the ladies enable 
without going through the office or 
around by the -table the linn's deter- 
mined to please the best people m town 



from Deputy Sheriff or Village Presi- 
dent down. 

John Dodge's gone on a visit to an 
institution id" the state be was chaper- 
oned by George Sharp who as a guard- 
ian is great he's the village Constable 
he favors none nor any fears (Dodge 
took some things that wasn't his and 
the Judge he said "four years") 

John Moore at bis dairy farm has 
sunk a deeper well that bis business is 

growing we do not need tO tell be sells 

all kinds of milk also buttermilk and 
cream that be can well lill any want lo 
say may useless -cent. 

Nick Fritz has a fine meat-market and 
sausages over par (bis Newfoundland 
dog was killed last week run over by a 
car ) 

Bob Alexander's residence was 
burned last Friday night the family es- 
caped with nothing on they were a 
sorry sight the only furniture saved 
from the cruel conflagration was some 
fruit stored m the cellar also the stone 
foundation Bob nearly lost bis life (we 
do regret his close escape) though fully 
covered by insurance might be in much 
better shape. 

The Trustees of Mope Cemetery met 
last Friday night: they're going to dam 
things down the creek to make a new 
mill-site: they resolved to thank those 
who bad most helped their enterprise 
especially Druggist Martcr and Liquor 
Dealer Wise also the Auto-Club ami 
Eureka foot-ball team. It is hoped 
some more citizens will help along the 
-ebeme 

1 wrote last week that Samuel Jones 
was a bustling bustler your types -aid to 
my amaze he was a "busting huckster." 
I said Prof Mills had invented a com 
planter vour types said "corn plaster" 
and he got mad nist. inter Jones is look- 
ing for me with a club such things make 
me despondent yon must watch your 
types Or you will need another 

( ( )RRESP( INDEN 1' 



( X 1 1 1 e . --The lack of lucidity in communica- 
tions of the avi ragi country correspondent, 
the disregard for punctuation, frequently giv- 
ing double meaning and requiring constant 
watchful revision at the editorial mom-, is 
well known to every publisher. The foregoing 
"correspondence" was written, as .1 suggi 
of .1 style that might be adopted which would 
make such items more interesting without les- 
sening their verdant chai m 1 



.-,.-, 



















5G 



THE MAN WHO POSTED PICTURES ON OUR FENCE. 



We all have our ideals of the things that make men great, 
i lur heroes are the men whose deeds we'd like to imitate — 
The fireman on his ladd r— the soldier on the firing line. 
I fie man who makes his engine leap seems to some the most divini , 
The man who throws the swiftest hall and saves a close-fought game 
And the man \\1m climbing steeples big profit gets and fame. 
But J remember when 1 thought the hero most immense 
Was the man who daily posted the pictures on our U:i}< < 

Some crave to fie a po t and smooth verses write that iingle, 
Smile aspire to painting sunsets — the tints and colors mingle. 

Some see glory running Iiorsi leading in the frenzied heats, 

Some see heroes in the blue-coat — proudly guarding city streets, 

would sail the treach'rous waters —battling 'gains! the storm-king's | 
Some find their heroes on the stage who tragic rage and glower. 
But my youthful eye o'erlooked them a'! and chose without pretence 
I he man who daily posted lag, startling pictures on our fence 

() thos C bright red and yellow posters m) mind can see today; 
There wa- Davy Crockett braveh keeping all the wolves at bay. 

I here wa- the King of Iragedy in rob.es of royalty, 

\ 1 1 ■ I the Soldier Boy wuh emblems profuse of loyalty, 
The songstress who sweetb warbled for Society's delight 
And the "Boxing .Match"- two men who seemed to us prepared to light. 
1'. tote tile hills were torn and ruined we waited with suspense 
la.r the next surprise from "him" who posted pictures on our fence 

Each week he would have something new to delight our youthful eye: — 
The overlapping combinations would oft create surprise; 

We would read that "Skinner's Hair Dye" — "Speedy cures the stomach-ache." 
"Bin groceries at Grinder's, -1 then "Winner's Soothing Syrup take,' 
"Read the Morning Record." — "Cures gore eyes and frosted feet," 
"Buy Greenum's Draperies and Carpets,"— "Never can he heat." 
"Reverend Doctor Love will preach on," — "Huff's Whisky is immense," 
Then they'd blame the careless man who posted pictures on our fence 

When the circus spason came it put our hero at his best. 
He unrolled maidens on the slack-wire and clowns with sill) jest. 
He built great parades of elephants and camels and the like. 
Gymnasts, jugglers and men doing famous tricks upon the "hike," 
There were snakes of great proportions till we shuddered at the sight, 
Timers wild and ev'ry other thing that ever lived to bite, 
We wondered how much of u he owned— the doubt grew quite intense, 
\s we ga/ed upon the man who posted pictures on our fence 

Since that time we have grown wiser (in our own estimation), 

Seen heroes countless and ideals of our own creation. 

We've seen giant rockets fall after blazing in the skies. 

We've seen some idols crumble — we've seen heroes grandh rise, 

We've learned that all can noble be in humblest avocation— 

That around us he incentives to worthy aspiration, 

But in all the recollections that memory recompense 

None beam brighter than the man who posted pictures on our fence 



57 



THE MAN BEHIND THE GAVEL. 



You've heard the doleful plaint ;m<l know 
\bout the man behind the ho< 

h 's not the fool thi poel freely marks him , 
You've heard in poetrj and pun 
i the man behind tin gun 
Meets the foe upon the deep and disembarks him; 
I've read about the fierce attacks 
i )i woodsman bold behind the ax. 

And brave man behind tin throttle, when you 
Bui i.ikr them each and take them all 
On thi> ponderous earthy ball, 

Norn can equal the big man behind the gavel. 



\t Farmers' t !lub, in Disti icl Si 1 1, 

( >i where the learned professors rule, 

You observe him with unbounded admiration; 
And where he wears a stiff, high hat 
at appeals and such as that, 

You recognize his exalted elevation; 
( )r in our Legislative halls. 
Whose tricks the simple mind appals 

Or where delegates our politics unravel, 
And like- their great progenitors, 
Make Presidents and Senator-. 

\i hi- best you find the man behind the gavel 



As you pass within the portal 
i i in see he's n< > common mortal. 

You see his arm outstretched above his fellow-: 
lie has courage and endurance 
And unlimited assurance 

See his bosom proudl) heaving lik< a b taws; 
See the members flocking round him — 
You would think they'd sure confound him, 

And at his dictation would indignant cavel; 
But you see in half a minute, 
\, , i mi i Ise is reallj "in it," 

Winn compared beside the man behind the j 



I f you wain your pn ijecl cat ried 
You must see that he is harried, 

\nd buttonholed and coaxed and complimented high; 
For b\ deft manipulation, 
1 le can put j our pi i ci eatii m, 

Sleeping sweeth in the land of by-and-by; 
lie know- ev'rj man that lobbies 
And know- well each member's hobbii 

Parliamentary tangles can unravel; 
I le must ever he respected, 
1 • i >meone will be dejected 

l',\ this omnipotent man behind the gavel. 



You may think him domineering, 

Winn you -ee him firmly steering, 

Tin dangers avoiding a learned pilot -ee-: 
Sometimes hi- asseveration 

I - thoughtless consternation, 

But he in safetj brings In- craft before the breeze; 
1 ■. i lust '. lunged debater, 
Ev'r; nois; a [itator, 

Feel ! : powi r and at hi- mandate- sullen cavel; 
They dare not him attempt <\ri\. 
Or they will fail to catch hi- eye, 

When they'd -peak before the man behind thi 

58 



MAN BEHIND THE GAVEL. 

Throughout all civilization 
He is met with adulation, 

In many tongues he speak-, and rules in man) lands; 
Respects the strong majority, 
Protects tin weak minority, 

His gavel is supreme when held in proper hands; 
Out of tumult he brings order, 
Law and usage are his border. 

And beyond these bounds he will not let you travel; 
Quick when his magic gavel falls, 
In lodge or club or Congress halls, 

We heads uncover to the man behind the gavel 



A HARD-WEAR HAT. 

1 careless strolled one day into a store a hat to liny. 
It proved to he a hardware store — the mistake mj soul did try. 
Said one clerk. "We can a 'stovepipe' li.it put up to lit you true." 
And he suggested perhaps I might he out at clbozt'S too; 
Another said 'twould need be ironed and polished without doubt, 
And if am dents are "stove" in it the\ must he hammer-ed out; 
They both agreed the job was plane— could do it in a twinkle — 
lust rivet on a rim and In! — 'twill be without a wrinkle 
When I iVoii-icalh axe-d them the cost of their ad-iw. 
They said to shovel out a dollar would be the staple price, 

To fork over my while-metal 1 didn't feel inclined. 
But screen-ed from them the purpose 1 was casting in my mind. 
A pot-ulent porter said the hat would like a chimne) draw- 
Attention to the spoon-iest rake the people ever saw 
Their stoves they said had feet and could be run but wouldn't walk, 
And stranger still they had some pairs of tongs that couldn't talk; 
Their jokes then took a narrow- range about fellows full of brass 
Who needed stovepipes on their heads to allow escape of gas; 
I semt'-ed up courage, brace-d myself and said their fun I'd hamper. 
On such hot-air I'd surely close a check and turn a damper. 

I told them they were not square though they thought their conduct grati 
\ ivire-y lot of chaps were they — it made me hesitate, 
1 felt mv mettle rising and a chain of things was thinking, 
1 saw that I was in a trap and felt my spirits sink-'mg. 
So I just flue toward the door— I found it &ar-red and bolt-ed, 
I tripped a step (ladder) over— m) anatomy it jolted. 
I broke my nails, 1 ivrcnch-ed m\ joints, but hoe-hoc, a window raised; 
I rushed, then lead m a race— at my at-tacks the) were amazed, 
I scale-d, said "watch m\ smoke—] prefer to do the fire-'mg." 
It soot-ed me to get away, no hat-chet and perspiring. 

MORAL. 

Though can-tank-erous their conduct and a n-ice-box 1 was in, 
I my nickels saved, got plumb away— much to their shear chagrin; 
Yet this pan-ic tale is not complete with. ait this little moiu'r— 
If you'd hue. or hook, or steel a ha1 don't try a hardware store 

59 



CRANX. 



You meet them in the ti ' m on the 

You meet them in the churches— in the lodge their fai 
You meet them in the restaurants- you meet them in the banks 
great omnicient arm.) -mystic, irrepressive cranx. 




Jk lAx'Zoetje t-A eir jfcLceJ hi&c-t 



Their judgment cannot be astray on Histon or Kinan 

disaster I England, German) and France, 

["hey view with apprehension every legislative bill, 
\n.l they know the Commonwealth i- rapid!) going down the hill. 
["he.\ have remei ill distress from chills to poli 

No one ever them can "bunco"— the) know all the latest trick-. 
And if our dear Country goes to smash b\ running off the track 
ranks a willing hand will lend to pull her saf.'ly b 

rhere"s the man who loud prognosticates dire famines, floods and war — 
He gets it through some secret "wireless" source from rudd) Mars 
Can tell you how the stars control your living and your dying— 
Tis '"destiny" for you to change at all i- useless trying; 

- the man who's studied Shakspeare till he lives within it- spell. 
( )f I lamlet, Juliet, i ithello it pleasi - him to tell. 
He ran prove b\ apt quotations that In-'- right or you are wroi 
And with pleasurable fervor he repeats hi- little 

There's the man who look- for wondrous things when it shall come to pass, 
That we all our daily diet make on peanuts, fruits and grass; 
Ami funnier still the man who would drive all our ills away, 
Just by limiting our hill of fare to one his meal a day; 

There'- tin- man who undertake- nobl) to reform the world, 

\t liquor and tobacco hi- anathema- are hurled. 

Despite of drinker'- -coif- and sneers, with no one him to thank. 

He bravel) rights hi- battle tho' he know- he'- labeled "crank 

There's the man who knows the world i- rapid coming to an end 

lie proves it by the Prophets and for his claims doth loud contend. 

Hut he keeps on loaning money on "promises to pay," 

And lays b) an honest penny to meet a rainy day. 

Perhaps best of all that genial chap what would we do without him — 

Who through all trials cordial yreet- everyone about him 

lie never "trouble- trouble," spreads bright sunshine all around 

Such crank- the world can ill afford to lose or feelings wound 

There's the deluded creature — hall we pity him or blame? 
Who keep- up -team with stomach charged with alcoholic t! 
Hi- energ) some ma) admire— his wit some loudly praise, 
But ill know and tell each other it is liquor's transient craze; 
Worst of all I ami meanest I i- the man who'd cure all ills 
B faith, because 'tis cheaper than paying .1.1,1.11'- bills 
lie take- a grain "f truth and a mountain make- of error; 
children helpless perish in agony and terroi 

60 



CRANX. 

1 here'.* the man who's running over with well-meant religious zeal, 
Bui forgets true Christian charity t'ward other's creeds to feel; 
Strong in contrast is the crank who makes it his foolish mission 
To give each good and sacred thing his vilest opposition; 

["here's the man who thinks for "autos" the street, have been created — 

I li.it horses and pedestrians should he eliminated; 

The man whose "luck's against" him — just someone else to blame, or "fate.' 
And the man who of his aches and pains does constant!} relate. 




"Aiver lrgy.lief 




"CnMiJloYy or 
finOt. o e." 




"•sAf >n tO\ whose. 
/ac/i'S agamslfy) 



And there are man} minor cianx who sing a minor tune--- 

lln- man who cuts his hair and sets his hens b\ change of moon. 

1 In- race-track cranks, the baseball cranks, who "root" and yell and rage, 

\ml the man whose thoughts asleep, awake, are centered on the stage; 

I he man who feels the inspiration his "poetry" to re.nl. 

I ho' you must listen his effusions both rhyme and meter need; 

Single-tax. free-trade and socialism and government control, 

Have each extremists who combined make up the merry whole 

Of faddists and collectors there's a multitude, believe us, 
Earnest, wide-awake, amusing -their acts can never grieve us. 
The men with pleasant hobbies are the happiest men alive, 
Harmless fads keep men from evil — may they multiply and thrive. 
Fancies, follies, failings there's room tor all — room lor you and me; 
If all were built and thought alike how sombre all would be; 
Let u- living, learning, laboring, avoid each freak extreme. 
If we must be cranx let kindness in our ev'ry action gleam. 




JuSl one meal a day ' 




'Me lives within its S/iell 



MiS aekes andfiaaS' 



We'll gather in the trolley cars- we'll gather in the street; 
We'll gather in the churches — in the lodges we will meet; 
We'll gather in the restaurants — we'll gather in the banks 
The great, omnicient army — mystic, irrepressive cranx. 



el 



GOOD-BYE. 



t I bj e, g< i id cheer — 

Kiml reader, sister, brother, friend, 
M.i\ happiness thy needs attend 

Through all the year. 

I i 1 bj e, g I heart — 

Tin grief Ik- light as swallow's v 
I In joy pierce gloom as robins sing 
\ml storm-clouds part. 

• id bj e, g I health — 

May muni and body e'er agree, 
Bring health, whate'er thy fortune be 

In fame or Health. 

i i I byi ><] nann 

As 'li irmant deep amid the gl 
Patient awaits tin beauteous bid 

( luard thou thj lame. 

< i I bye, gi ii h1 speed — 

May ev'ry milestone on life's way. 

Ma\ ev'ry impulse grave or gay, 
I gi iodness li ad 

' Bye 



62 



